“Self care is selfish”

Originally titled “positive life advice” I decided to change the title to “self care is selfish”. After reading peoples opinions on the new bout of self care accounts and threads all over social media

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I learnt a lot about the evolution of looking after ourselves. In the past we were taught to “pamper ourselves within reason” maybe the odd bath bomb once in a while then it’s back to work.

Then after Parks and Rec we learnt “Treat Yo’ Self” a time to completely spoil ourselves. Now we’re all on the journey to self care and self love, which honestly isn’t a glowy, cute and pretty journey filled with rainbows and candyfloss, this is self care and self love inside your comfort zone. Don’t do that.

If you’re doing it right it will be rough and dirty because essentially you’re leaving behind the negative traits, behaviours and memories. You’re learning to live a new way, which isn’t a smooth journey but every now and then there are little bags of candy floss along the way for your big and little successes you make, and that’s the reality of it.

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Nevertheless, there are still some who negatively perceive the act of self care as selfish, simply because it goes against the saying to “put others before yourself” and also because it can be seen as “reckless self indulgence”. This is a load of shit.

Nobody should put others in front of them if they themselves aren’t strong enough to. Just as the Mama Ru said “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” Focus on your needs then use your stronger abilities to help others❤.

This is how some people become doormats because taking the time to say ‘no’ or doing what they wanted was considered selfish.

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You really expect me to believe that someone that stands up for a good cause, knows when to take time for themselves to recover after hard times and finds ways to love themselves whenever they can are shitty people? Bitch please.

So this blog post is dedicated to all the bootiful “selfish” people out there that just want to be their best selves, by focusing on their mental and physical health as well as knowing how to accept and love themselves for who they are in a society build on superficial values.

Here’s a list of positive affirmations, life advice, inspirational quotes and loving messages for whatever you are going through, may go through or have just come out of. Whatever works for you, I hope one of these points will help you in anyway. Because a few words can help your journey, it’s up to you to put these words into action.

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Maybe get some post-it notes, stick them on your mirror and tell yourself the words everyday?

Set a reminder with a positive message every few hours? Send this blog post to friend that needs it? Because if adopting your own methods of self care and self love is selfish, then become the most selfish person ever.

  1. Love yourself like you would love your best friendImage result for best friend gif
  2. Remember the traits of the toxic person in your life (remove them too) and stear clear of those who exhibit the same traits that you may meet in the future.Image result for toxic friend gif
  3. Be the person you needed as a kidImage result for hugging kid gif
  4. Be as sexual or as modest as you want to be and don’t shame anyone who lives differently to you. If they’re not harming anyone why be angry at them?Image result for sexual modest gif
  5. You may feel disappointed, but you’re not a disappointmentImage result for hug gif
  6. Don’t compare your life/self to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon, they both shine when it’s their time. Image result for sun moon gif
  7. Always give yourself time when and forever how long you need it.Image result for self care gif
  8. Take a nap. Maybe you’ve had a bad day? Some say not to go to bed angry but in some cases that’s actually the answer. You’ll wake up refreshed able to make better decisions, evaluate how you feel with a clear mind and know what to do next.Image result for happy sleep gif
  9. Find your safe place but also take the time to explore when it’s right to.Image result for safe place  gif
  10. Stopping self-doubt is a journey, there will be good days and bad days but it’s important to take in the good onesImage result for confused john cena
  11. Be a sweet badass (someone that doesn’t take shit from anyone but also knows how to be a good person)Image result for badass gif black girl
  12. Celebrate your successes even the really small onesImage result for celebration gif
  13. Only say sorry if you really need toImage result for sorry gif
  14. Nobody is perfect. The person you’re comparing yourself to may seem like they have ‘everything’ you wish you had, but they actually don’t. They have their own insecurities, mistakes, problems that you may actually be completely secure and confident in.Image result for confidence gif
  15. You have every right to say noImage result for no gif
  16. Don’t waste time and energy over what you can’t controlImage result for no control gif
  17. Only give an explanation to those you believe have always been there for you and deserve it.Image result for talk to friends gif
  18. Don’t let others ruin your happinessImage result for dirty look gif
  19. Don’t be afraid to ask for help Image result for ask for help gif
  20. Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option.Image result for priority gif
  21. Baby steps for anything Image result for baby steps gif
  22. Never let anyone pressure you into doing something you don’t want to doImage result for pressure gif
  23. Never try and fit into someone else’s mould, you were put in this world for a reason to live your own unique purposeImage result for be yourself gif
  24. You can’t please everyone and you don’t need toImage result for fake hug wild child gif
  25. Don’t diet because someone/society forced you to look a certain way. Just be healthy, a healthy body can be any size.Image result for diet gif
  26. Make a funny folder on Instagram’s collections, anything that makes you happy/laugh save it in there so when you have bad days you can have some ‘happy memory relief’.Related image
  27. You deserve to feel how you feel. Your feelings are valid.Image result for valid gif
  28. Don’t light yourself on fire trying to brighten someone else’s existenceImage result for on fire gif
  29. An eye for an eye will just come back at you so kill them with kindnessImage result for be kind gif
  30. Grow at your own speedImage result for plant grow gif
  31. Always keep learningImage result for learning gif
  32. Don’t feel stupid if you don’t like what everyone else pretends to loveImage result for basic gif
  33. Great things never came from comfort zonesImage result for comfort zone gif
  34. Listen to that song you keep skippingImage result for listen to music gif
  35. Find a role model that makes you want to be the best person you can beRelated image
  36. If you don’t like where you are, move. You’re not a tree.Image result for move gif
  37. Be so good they can’t ignore youImage result for poke gif
  38. Make a Pinterest account. The feeling of sorting and organising even if it’s online is quite therapeutic😊 make open or secret boards for anything. In mine I have a travel board, a board devoted to books and a board devoted to photography etc. Just make what makes you happy (my Pinterest board https://www.pinterest.co.uk/OfficialJOD/ )Image result for pinterest board gif

You don’t have to do everything on this list, even just one is fine 🎉 because just as improving your physical health is important it transcends to your mental health’s well-being.

Think of yourself and what you want and need to be happy and healthy. See you in the next blog post, thank you for reading!!!


6 Comments Add yours

  1. Love this list. I find myself getting caught up in work and other peoples lives and not thinking about myself until its so late sometimes, so this is a good reminder! And you’re right about pinterest, its super soothing! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So happy you liked it!! Always make sure to put your mental needs first and keep thriving 😄😄🌌


  2. Josephine says:

    People do tend to have a scewed idea of what self-care actually means; they think it’s about treating yourself as opposed to developing and growing your self, as you said. I think it’s great that you highlighted the truth about sefl-care.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely It’s definitely pulling yourself back and self assessing so you can be happy, even if it’s not all pretty. Thank you for reading!!❤❤


  3. I love what you said about celebrating your successes – even the small ones.
    This is so true! Thank you for such an insightful post!
    Kelle – http://www.itskellesspace.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad to hear you liked it! Always celebrate them 😀


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